Alter Ego Progress F: After the Choices Made

A bit of a short update, nonetheless, there are some things I want to talk explain regarding all the last minute work and choices I am making, so very near the deadline.


Hra, and no others


First the godly depictions of me, I’ve decided (completely due to time restraints) to focus solely on presenting Hra, the chaos, but also everything else, as the alter ego me. The Chaos that might actually have more control over things than I do, emotions, ideas, all the interests, all the gratifications (more on that) and more.

Yet, I feel good about this decision. Ideas change, goals change, especially over long, but also short periods of time, and deciding to only present a depiction of Hra, in poster format, behind a small altar of some kind, with sketches and crude drawings, trinkets and candles, and all the other stuff that points towards him and all the other parts of him, and me

Before the restart
After the restart, this attempt is also more speedy, loose and free. And even though it is so near deadline, which I really really should try to learn from more, I am loving how I have come to accept this style and also really know what I enjoy making.
Although progress is slow, and quick, shapes and ideas begin to form while painting. Adding elements that feel alien and maybe even weird to some, which is the goal. It has to feel weird, powerful, different. With Hra’s own iconography, visual language and more.

This progress is all part of a big realisation, something that I often have, but now truly acknowledge, I have to really come to terms with my chaotic way of working and I need to find a solution to really make it work. Because I my eyes, I have failed most of this term, at least, the working on my ideas and pushing forward part of it, (oh and the maquette part, which I for the full 99.9% loathe).

And also keeping the motivational fires roaring, that is something, as my mind gets tugged constantly: by distractions, minor gratifications (for the gratification monkey in my mind: see this epic Ted Talk from Tim Urban, also the video below) for my procrastinator brain. For I am, truly a master procrastinator.


Maybe what I want to work on during the remainder of the year is learning how to guide that gratification monkey, the one Urban talks about, towards short term goals within greater projects. Maybe I have to work more in a scrum kind of way, but then for just me, or I have to really reward myself during and after I work on short term goals. I don’t know for sure yet, at least this I will bring forward during the presentation.

Being a master procrastinator is both my biggest strength and biggest weakness, and it is truly my goal to really work with that. It’s also what I am, now, reflecting on the most, and deciding what I am going to do with it (maybe I need to connect with someone that is fairly good with working strict and concise, and trade it off with maybe trying to slow that person down one way or another, to relax and thingk).

Oh I will also be reflecting after the presentation this coming Monday through one or two methods, and I will do that here. I might make it a hybrid of the two. But that is that for the Alter Ego.


Maquette Madness.. and despair


Then there is the maquette, a maquette of my fictional school/learning environment, which I actually have shared next to nothing about. No, scrap that, I have shared nothing about it. Mainly because for me, it is the most unimaginative assignment. Mainly because I don’t like working 3D like this (more the digital road for me), and also because I feel I am not really good at (or lack the money, and effort to get proper materials) it really is a doom assignment.

I am still trying my hardest to get it done in time, but I might only end up with sketches, and drawings, and maybe a Minecraft build or two that should evoke the feeling.

I’ll share sketches and stuff tomorrow, in a post that is specifically dedicated to the maquette.

Until the next post,

Niek